I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sarcasm needs its own font
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
