Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
