I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
