using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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