Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+33): View more from France

I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

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(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

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(516): View more from New York

Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.

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(214): View more from Texas

If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed

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(+61): View more from Australia

Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.

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(619): View more from California

Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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(914): View more from New York

Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.

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(727): View more from Florida

I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.

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