You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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