I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
