Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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