update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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