Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
