Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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