Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
