im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
