girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its liver damage thursday
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