your parents love me but you hate me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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