I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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