guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
