yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will be naked everywhere
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
