I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
