your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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