he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
