I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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