just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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