If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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