and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
