Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
