What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
