Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
