so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
