'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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