turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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