You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
