u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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