redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
