Whoa Z and x make the same sound
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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