somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
