I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Randomize
