White coat. Heels.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
