I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
