do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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