the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
honey bunches of taint.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
