1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
