Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
