didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
