i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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