At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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