Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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