Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
