so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she peed on how many people?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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