There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
