theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
