3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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