just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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