To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
